Humor and the Law, Part One

In honor of April Fools’ Day, the editors of the blog asked the faculty of the Law School to share their favorite examples of legal humor. Every day we will share a different faculty member’s submissions.  First up is Professor Matt Mitten.

 

Lawyer: You say you saw the man stabbed in the hay field with a fork. What kind of fork was it?

Witness: Well, did you ever see a tuning fork or an dinner fork in a hay field?

 

Did you hear about the Texas lawyer who got his client a suspended sentence?  They hung him.

 

My lawyer says that giving legal advice gives him a grand and glorious feeling. His clients give him a grand and he feels glorious.

 

One day the gate between heaven and hell broke down. St. Peter called out to the devil, “Hey Satan, it’s your turn to fix it.” “Sorry ,” said the devil. My men down here are too busy shoveling coal. We can’t worry about a mere gate.” “All right,” declared St. Peter, “if that’s your attitude then I’ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement.” “Go ahead and try!” snapped Satan. “Where are you gonna get a lawyer?”

 

While on his rounds Officer Sullivan stumbled on a young couple making love in a graveyard. He promptly carted them off to night court. “What were you doing in a graveyard at midnight?” asked Magistrate Riley. “Nothing wrong, Your Honor,” replied the boy. “I was just burying the old stiff.” “And what about you?” Riley asked the girl. “I was the undertaker, “ she responded. “You idiot!” exclaimed the judge to the policeman, and he fined the officer $25 for disturbing the peace.

 

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