{"id":16797,"date":"2012-03-28T15:13:43","date_gmt":"2012-03-28T20:13:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/?p=16797"},"modified":"2012-03-28T16:02:26","modified_gmt":"2012-03-28T21:02:26","slug":"humor-and-the-law-part-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/2012\/03\/humor-and-the-law-part-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Humor and the Law, Part One"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>In honor of April Fools’ Day, the editors of the blog asked the faculty of the Law School to share their favorite examples of legal humor. Every day we will share a different faculty member’s submissions.\u00a0 First up is Professor Matt Mitten.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lawyer: You say you saw the man stabbed in the hay field with a fork. What kind of fork was it?<\/p>\n

Witness: Well, did you ever see a tuning fork or an dinner fork in a hay field?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Did you hear about the\u00a0Texas lawyer who got his client a suspended sentence?\u00a0 They hung him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My lawyer says that giving legal advice gives him a grand and glorious feeling. His clients\u00a0give him a grand and he feels glorious.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One day the gate between heaven and hell broke down. St. Peter called out to the devil, \u201cHey Satan, it\u2019s your turn to fix it.\u201d \u201cSorry ,\u201d said the devil. My men down here are too busy shoveling coal. We can\u2019t worry about a mere gate.\u201d \u201cAll right,\u201d declared St. Peter, \u201cif that’s your attitude then I\u2019ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement.\u201d \u201cGo ahead and try!\u201d snapped Satan. \u201cWhere are you gonna get a lawyer?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While on his rounds Officer Sullivan stumbled on a young couple making love in a graveyard. He promptly carted them off to night court. \u201cWhat were you doing in a graveyard at midnight?\u201d asked Magistrate Riley. \u201cNothing wrong, Your Honor,\u201d replied the boy. \u201cI was just burying the old stiff.\u201d \u201cAnd what about you?\u201d Riley asked the girl. \u201cI was the undertaker, \u201c she responded. \u201cYou idiot!\u201d exclaimed the judge to the policeman, and he fined the officer\u00a0$25 for disturbing the peace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In honor of April Fools’ Day, the editors of the blog asked the faculty of the Law School to share their favorite examples of legal humor. Every day we will share a different faculty member’s submissions.\u00a0 First up is Professor Matt Mitten.   Lawyer: You say you saw the man stabbed in the hay field […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,122,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-popular-culture-and-law","category-public","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/35"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16797"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16797\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/law.marquette.edu\/facultyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}