In honor of April Fools’ Day, the editors of the blog asked the faculty of the Law School to share their favorite examples of legal humor. For the last several days, we have shared a different faculty member’s submission.  Our final submission is from Professor Lisa Mazzie.

More (supposedly real) excerpts from trial transcripts:

QUESTION: What is your date of birth?

ANSWER: July fifteenth.

QUESTION: What year?

ANSWER: Every year.

_____________

QUESTION: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?

ANSWER: Gucci sweats and Reebocks.

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QUESTION: This myasthenia gravis that you have, does it affect your memory at all?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: And in what way does it affect your memory?

ANSWER: I forget.

QUESTION: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you’ve forgotten?

_________

QUESTION: How old is your son, the one living with you?

ANSWER: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.

QUESTION: How long has he lived with you?

ANSWER: Forty-five years.

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QUESTION: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

ANSWER: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

QUESTION: And why did that upset you?

ANSWER: My name is Susan.

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QUESTION: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney?

ANSWER: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.