Matthew J. Mitten – Page 2 – Marquette University Law School Faculty Blog

Humor and the Law, Part One

Post author:Matthew J. Mitten
Post published:March 28, 2012
Post category:Popular Culture & Law Public Uncategorized

In honor of April Fools’ Day, the editors of the blog asked the faculty of the Law School to share their favorite examples of legal humor. Every day we will share a different faculty member’s submissions. First up is Professor Matt Mitten.

Lawyer: You say you saw the man stabbed in the hay field with a fork. What kind of fork was it?

Witness: Well, did you ever see a tuning fork or an dinner fork in a hay field?

Did you hear about the Texas lawyer who got his client a suspended sentence? They hung him.

My lawyer says that giving legal advice gives him a grand and glorious feeling. His clients give him a grand and he feels glorious.

One day the gate between heaven and hell broke down. St. Peter called out to the devil, “Hey Satan, it’s your turn to fix it.” “Sorry ,” said the devil. My men down here are too busy shoveling coal. We can’t worry about a mere gate.” “All right,” declared St. Peter, “if that’s your attitude then I’ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement.” “Go ahead and try!” snapped Satan. “Where are you gonna get a lawyer?”

While on his rounds Officer Sullivan stumbled on a young couple making love in a graveyard. He promptly carted them off to night court. “What were you doing in a graveyard at midnight?” asked Magistrate Riley. “Nothing wrong, Your Honor,” replied the boy. “I was just burying the old stiff.” “And what about you?” Riley asked the girl. “I was the undertaker, “ she responded. “You idiot!” exclaimed the judge to the policeman, and he fined the officer $25 for disturbing the peace.

Professor Mitten’s Exam Taking Essentials for Essay Questions

Post author:Matthew J. Mitten
Post published:December 5, 2011
Post category:Legal Education Marquette Law School Public

[Editor’s Note: This month, faculty members are posting on their exam taking tips. This is the third post in the series.]

Law school essay exams are a completely different kind of essay exam than what students might be used to. Here, Professor Mitten shares his essentials for taking law school essay exams.

1. Carefully read question at least twice and sort out what happened. It may be helpful to draw a chronological diagram of the parties’ conduct.

2. Determine the question(s) that you are being asked to consider. For example, it may be broad (e.g., discuss the parties’ respective claims) or very specific (e.g., consider A’s claims against B). Some professors (like me) will give you credit only for answering the question asked.

3. Identify each plaintiff’s claims and address each claim separately. For example, in torts, tell the professor who (plaintiff) is suing whom (defendant) for what (tort)?

Technology Has Enhanced Legal Education Significantly, But Its Essential Components Remain the Same

Post author:Matthew J. Mitten
Post published:September 27, 2011
Post category:Legal Education Public

[Editor’s Note: This month, we asked a few veteran faculty members to share their reflections on what has changed the most in legal education since they became law professors. This is the fifth in the series.]

As I finish my twenty-second year as a law professor, I marvel at how technological advances and the proliferation of specialty courses have changed (and, in most instances, improved) legal education since I began my academic career in 1990. Yet I am mindful that the essential components of a high-quality legal education remain unchanged (e.g., an interactive and engaging academic environment that stimulates critical thinking, reasoned legal analysis, creative problem solving, an understanding of legal doctrine and policy, and the development of effective verbal and written communication skills).

There were no laptops in the classroom when I begin teaching twenty-two years ago, and handwritten exam answers were the norm. Now it’s rare to see any student without his or her PC during class.