The Marriage Ref?

Okay, I was drawn like a moth to a  flame (or more like watching a car accident) to keep on NBC after the closing ceremonies and watch The Marriage Ref last night under the deluded hope that maybe this would be a tv show with dispute resolution in action.  The tag line for this lovely show is that it finally gives you what every couple wants–a winner.  Well, it might do that for couples but it does not do that for television viewers.  First, as Roger Fisher once told me with very wise marital advice, if you think you have won an argument with your spouse (and celebrate afterwards!) you have missed the point.  So, I don’t think that marriage in general is better off with winners and losers.  If you start to treat marriage like football games–or litigation–you might as well file your own litigation in family court.   Second, where do they get these stories (a dead stuffed dog!?!) and who are these couples?  I suppose that reality tv might have completely deadened our sense of privacy and shame but really,  I need to hear about a couple’s argument on a stripper pole?   This is entertainment?  I mean, it is barely more than an argument about intimate marital relations which, let me say again, don’t stay intimate if you share them on tv!  So….no more Marriage Ref for me (unless, of course,  I really need to feel superior in my marriage.)

Cross posted at Indisputably.

Continue ReadingThe Marriage Ref?

Respecting Student Experience

wallsOne of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a copy of Jeannette Walls’ amazing memoir, The Glass Castle. In it, she describes growing up with her three siblings in a household characterized by chaos and poverty on the one hand, and love and a sense of wonderment on the other.

Jeannette and her siblings live in a series of cars, tents, or leaky-roofed houses without heat. They forage for food in farmers’ fields and trash cans, wear cast-off clothing, and bathe so infrequently as to attract the scorn of schoolmates. Their unstructured life and economic deprivation are partly a product of their father Rex’s alcoholism, and partly a result of their mother’s free-spiritedness, which often bordered on mental illness. The parents held jobs for periods of time, but usually quit or were fired because they did not like the infringement of a work schedule on their freedom or did not see eye-to-eye with their bosses on some point. Despite these physical hardships, the Walls family is full of love and mutual affection, and Jeannette’s account of her family is surprisingly gentle and forgiving.

As a Family Law teacher who addresses issues such as child maltreatment, parental rights and child protection, I am fascinated by first person accounts of family life, and Walls’ account is full of nuance and insight. There is one scene however, that haunts me as a teacher. 

Continue ReadingRespecting Student Experience

The Future of Family Law?

A good family-law attorney approaches a divorce case with rigorous attention to detail, a strong understanding of finance and property issues, and a readiness to deal with quick changes in circumstances. Who could disagree with that?

Perhaps no one, and these matters were thus common ground in a provocative session for students this week, with presentations by Dean Joseph D. Kearney (“10 Things I Learned During My 28 Days as a Divorce Lawyer”), Milwaukee lawyer Thomas St. John ’72 (“5 Things Any Lawyer Should Know Even Before Taking the Case”), and Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Michael J. Dwyer (“3 Things a Law Student Should Know About Family Law”). But, despite a great deal of common ground, the speakers’ views did not seem entirely in accord.

The basis for the discussion was a case that the Dean handled on a pro bono basis a few years ago in Illinois for a high school classmate. The focus of the Dean and Attorney St. John was primarily on litigation points, and there were many similarities in their lists. 

Continue ReadingThe Future of Family Law?