Overheard Outside Eckstein Hall

Posted on Categories Marquette Law School, Public, Uncategorized

The following conversation was overheard this morning outside of the entrance to the parking structure in Eckstein Hall:

Parking Attendant:  I’m sorry, but you will have to back up your car.  The parking structure is full.

Faculty Member:  I can see past the gate.  There are plenty of empty spots.

Parking Attendant:  Those spots are reserved for faculty and students only.

Faculty Member:  But I have been on the faculty for 26 years.

Parking Attendant:  My apologies.  I didn’t recognize you.  However, those spots are reserved for today’s On the Issues with Mike Gousha.  He is interviewing the author of the book “Trump Bad: How to Sell Your Book By Using Trump’s Name in the Title.”

Faculty Member:  I happen to know that that event is tomorrow.

Parking Attendant:  My mistake.  Today those spots are reserved for people attending Charles Franklin’s press conference.  He has new poll results: “Public Support for Cheese Curds Reaches Record Low in Wisconsin.”

Faculty Member:  I think that you made that up.

Parking Attendant:  I did.  I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I did that.  But the parking structure is closed today to accommodate the attendees of the National Sports Law Institute conference: “Milwaukee Brewers Pitching: Criminally Bad or a Crime Against Humanity?”

Faculty Member:  Look, do you actually have any parking spaces in this building.  I’ve never actually gotten inside of the parking structure.

Parking Attendant:  Of course we have parking.  We have over 150 parking spots conveniently located on two levels inside of the law school building.

Faculty Member:  May I please park inside and see for myself?

Parking Attendant:  No.  I’m sorry.  Normally I would let you, but all of the parking spots are on vacation this week.  Please come back next week.

Faculty Member:  That doesn’t even make sense.

Parking Attendant:  You’re right.  I shouldn’t have said that.  But the parking structure is closed today for private events.  The Meyerowitz Bar Mitzvah has reserved level one and the Henderson-Martinez Wedding has reserved level two.

Faculty Member:  There really isn’t any parking available in this building, is there?

Parking Attendant:  What?  Of course there is.  We have plenty of parking spots.  Yes. . .   No.  No we don’t.  There is actually no parking at all.  You caught me.  There never has been any parking in this building.  It’s all an elaborate charade.  I am so sorry for wasting your time.

Faculty Member:  That explains everything.  Thank you for being honest with me.  Somehow, giving up the hope of one day finding a parking spot in the building is oddly comforting.  I feel better now.  Thank you and have a great day.

Backs car out and pulls away.



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