Okay, I was drawn like a moth to a  flame (or more like watching a car accident) to keep on NBC after the closing ceremonies and watch The Marriage Ref last night under the deluded hope that maybe this would be a tv show with dispute resolution in action.  The tag line for this lovely show is that it finally gives you what every couple wants–a winner.  Well, it might do that for couples but it does not do that for television viewers.  First, as Roger Fisher once told me with very wise marital advice, if you think you have won an argument with your spouse (and celebrate afterwards!) you have missed the point.  So, I don’t think that marriage in general is better off with winners and losers.  If you start to treat marriage like football games–or litigation–you might as well file your own litigation in family court.   Second, where do they get these stories (a dead stuffed dog!?!) and who are these couples?  I suppose that reality tv might have completely deadened our sense of privacy and shame but really,  I need to hear about a couple’s argument on a stripper pole?   This is entertainment?  I mean, it is barely more than an argument about intimate marital relations which, let me say again, don’t stay intimate if you share them on tv!  So….no more Marriage Ref for me (unless, of course,  I really need to feel superior in my marriage.)

Cross posted at Indisputably.